Real Estate Devils-2, Me-0

I'm 33 years old.
I am not married.
And I really want to own a house.

How do you buy a house without a husband? I have a feeling it's not going to be easy.

Here are my top 5 reasons it's going to be challenging for me to buy a house:

5. Short Sales Suck. The majority of the houses on the market in my area and in my price range are short sales. This means that the current owner owes more than the house is worth. This makes things tricky because instead of just having an owner/seller accept my offer, I also have to have the bank that currently owns the house accept my offer as well. And I've found banks aren't as nice as they seem on TV. I am the backup offer on a short sale house. It's been 6 weeks. Good news? The bank hasn't responded to the offer (the sellers accepted my backup offer) so that gives more time for the 1st guy to drop out. Bad news? The 1st guy hasn't dropped out yet.

4. Economic growth. The stupid economy is rebounding, but only in real estate, and only in my area, and only in my price range, and only with the houses I'm interested in. It seems I'm in a hot demographic and houses are now going for $20,000 more than asking price. DAMN YOU OBAMA! Can you please let me buy a house before you fix the economy? Or you could just buy me a house. That would work too.

3. Turn-key. That's the phrase for just moving your crap in and not doing anything. Unfortunately, buying at the top of my price range means no upgrades when I move in. I might be able to afford paint, but new carpet and appliances will be out of the question. You would think I could just buy a house that's even cheaper to make up for it, but sadly I'm already at the cheap end of the pool.

2. Realtors can be mean. I know real estate is a business and people make money on it, but is it too much to ask for some common courtesy? I was the first person to put in an offer on this certain house. I offered asking price and would pay my own closing costs. It was a fair deal. I submitted the offer on Tuesday morning and the selling agent said they would let me know in a day or two. On Friday they had an open house and said they would let me know in a day or so. They had 2 more open houses on Saturday and Sunday and still have not given me a decision. Now I know that they are trying to get more for the house. I completely understand that. But is it too much to ask for them to just reject my offer? If they were pricing it low, shouldn't they have come back and let me put in a higher bid? It's been over a week and they haven't said either way. I know I'm not going to get the house, but stringing me along is just not necessary.

1. Single income. That's right people, I have to make it on my own. I don't have anyone else's salary to put into this thing so I have to adjust my standards a little. Maybe a lot. I might not be able to afford granite countertops, stainless appliances, hardwood floors, 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, 3 car garage, pool, large backyard, all on 5 acres with a stream running through. And I might not be able to find a place in my price range in the area I want to be in. I might have to settle for the scary ghetto places. The ones with their own unique entertainment (hey friends, let's go down to the corner and watch the prostitutes pick up Johns!!).

So that's what my life has been consumed with for the past month or two. I'm still looking. I have not yet given up. Although my spirit is a little crushed. And I don't feel the excitement I did in the beginning.

That last paragraph could also describe my outlook on dating.